Today my creative juices are not flowing right. I have been staring at my computer for four hours trying to figure exactly how am writing today’s blog. Don’t get me wrong, I have the theme, I know what I want to talk about, but sometime it’s just difficult to arrange my thoughts in writing and in a way that someone else can understand. It’s a struggle, a brain paralysis; you know you are there, but you can’t prove that you are there. You are blank. Is it relatable? Am I making sense?
My brain is having a mood today, and to think that a colleague suggested that I blog daily, how can I possibly do that? I think that women who blog daily are super heroes. How do they do it? Don’t tell me about a schedule. You can always have an idea, as you see I have one, but executing this is just a supernatural thing.
If you have been following me since, you know for a fact that it’s a struggle. I find it miraculous that so far I have been able to jot something every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
I think am making sense.
Am not sure.
Am still struggling with the ‘cool girls’. These women are difficult to catch up with, they are busy, I think they are what we call the proverbs 31 kind. They play their roles all rounded and want very little credit for it. Even with that in mind, you won’t believe who had a sit down with me this week. I will soon tell you all about her.
I may be getting destructed, lets go back to my brain. I should probably see a psychologist or some sort of special doctor to tell me why sometime my brain has a mood. A mood so strong that I have to destruct it, sometimes with a book, a movie or even ice cream, before it decides to cooperate.
But these doctors are also a moody lot. Their moods controlled by money. How do I trust them to lure my brain to stillness when they have betrayed their calling for money? It’s not a false accusation, you can bear testament yourself. How many times have you gone to hospital and you are sent to the cashier before the consultation room? It’s worse when you have an insurance cover, you will go in with a fractured arm and end up having a pap smear or getting tested for syphilis in the lab. They may add in some urinalysis and unnecessary drugs just to milk out money from your insurer.
It’s all about the money. We have equated life to money. So much so that people are actually jumping off buildings and committing familicide because they can’t keep up.
What happened to live and let live? We have become selfish, self-centered and any other self-made word for benefit self.
If I am promoted to a senior position, I save all the other positions for my unqualified relatives. If I am privileged to have access to extra resources, everything else must be on sale, I must get the money. Nothing is enough, everything is too little.
So today am thinking about that woman laying on a stroller with her sick child unattended because their relative is still processing her admission. This is because the hospital’s administration has to weigh their value before taking in the patient.
I am thinking of that patient who would rather stay at home and endure the pain because they have to raise enough money before showing up at a hospital, God forbid their sickness is more than what they have saved for.
I am also thinking of all the hospitals that think of the monetary value that a patient brings before their life. I am thinking of hospitals with financial targets, the ones that have forced their staffers to forsake their humanity and see lives as walk-in money.
I am thinking of them especially because I know we have lost the value for life, we have forgotten to care for each other, we have become our own worst enemies.
Oh yea, My brain, still surprising me, don’t you think?