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STORY OF MY POTBELLY II

My story continues……………………………

So my pot  belly is still protruding, and men are still staring, my girlfriends are still advising and I still admire my sister’s flat tummy.

However, I am still who I am. I made a conscious decision to divert people’s attention to my strong points.

See for a very long time, I have been beating myself up for having a pot belly, I beat myself up so much that I forgot about my perfect smile, gorgeous eyes and attractive legs. (This is not self imposed)

Since my youngest memory, I remembered people around me complementing my smile, they said my eyes were small, watery and looked child innocent (I have never understood the meaning of that, but I know that’s a complement)
Even as I grew older, I noticed that even as the men got obstructed by my pot belly, they loved to see me smile (this includes my father).

Something about my smile made the world a better place. something about my strong but innocent stare made people give me attention and take me more seriously. I  realized, that my world does not rotate around my pot belly.

 Even as a rambled about  it, I realized I had a strength of my own. A strength that made me a better woman, more confident and more happy.

I woke up one morning, and realized, as I struggled to archive an almost impossible mission of loosing my pot belly, I could play dress up (like the lady I am) and divert everyone’s attention to the great things that i am.
I started to note the complements from the men I fancied, ‘you have beautiful legs’ they said, ‘your smile is infectious’ they added, ‘its like you see right through me’ they continued.

there came my realization, I was stronger that I thought, I was more beautiful than I thought, and I had something to offer. now this impressed me even more, “you have a wonderful personality, everyone loves you’ who wouldnt want to hear that?
So I set out on a mission to love myself, to interact freely, to dress my body and to be a happier human being.
Today I walk into any office I feel like, I go to any party am invited to, I rock my friend’s weddings and I am even blogging about my pot belly.

I realized my strengths.

My point is, as you dwell on your weaknesses, you easily forget your strengths.

In my affiliate Holy book, it is written, count your blessings one by one, and you will be amazed at  what the Lord has done.
today, stop looking at your weaknesses,and focus on your strengths, you will be amazed at what you can become, or how much you can love yourself.

What is your strength?

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STORY OF MY POTBELLY

Its a new month already, how time flies. Just the other day I was shouting new year greetings to every person who cared to  listen.
Its now the 5th month since then, just one more month and we are half way done with the year.
It is times like this that people (those that I know of) start panicking as they go back to their books of resolutions and discover they have not archived one single thing they set out to.
Well, I fall in that category……………………….
At the beginning of every year, I subconsciously created a tradition of taking a walk to a curtain picnic sight in Kenya’s capital with my best friend. There we talk about our past year and our anticipation for the new year.
Well, this year I was sure excited to announce that I was on a diet to loos my pot belly. Actually by the time I was announcing this, I had starved myself accordingly and was wearing one of those tummy trimming attires to completely flatten my stomach.

My entire life I have had this protruding pot belly that has caused every man I know of, including my dear father to be once in a while obstructed as I try to have a conversation with them.

It has kept me so uncomfortable that at some point, I called out my mother and blamed her for allowing SUCH to form at my tender days. According to me, she literally made me wear skirts and trousers on a high waste (right on my upper abdomen), causing the division between my upper stomach and my lower stomach,as I like to call it.

During my school days, all the girls had a theory as to why my pot belly was so big. 
To some, I ate too much while others thought its simply caused by my old school and careless way of wearing cloths at my high waste.
Either the case, none of their opinions made me feel comfortable about myself, and neither did the stares from all the male figures in my life.

On this new year, I had vowed to myself to maintain a figure that I had, just for a few days.
I proudly told my best friend how I intended to stay in the gym and eat properly.
For a round figured lady like myself, this was going to be the greatest challenge of my life.

Well to cut the story short, I still am the round figured lady with a pot belly that every man stares at as I try to have a serious conversation. In fact, I have gained massive weight,am more round and bubbly than ever.

My parents attribute this weight  gain to my new job, my boyfriends think its just being careless, while I on the other hand is confused more than ever.

I wont lie, I tried the gym, a very challenging experience, I lost some kilo. This is after my cousin advised that I eat less meat and do more exercise, almost impossible, because every time I did some exercise I was more hungry than ever, and yes I fed my hunger with all the good things I thought of.

Currently, as I write this, I stopped trying  all this solutions that everyone gave me,I stopped worrying about my pear opinion, in fact I think I have found a new best friend in my pot belly, not that I have stopped admiring my sister’s flat tummy, I have just embraced the woman I am.

If I ever dream of becoming a model, it will be a plus size model……. well, not so plus size, but plus size enough. 

So I change my resolution, right about now when everyone is panicking, I change mine, to embrace the woman that I am.

what changed my mind? make sure you read my next blog next week to find out.

TO BE CONTINUED ……………………………….

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THE POWER IN YOUR HANDS

This morning I woke up inspired.

Usually, I am a spiritual person, I believe in a supreme being that at the end of my life will get to judge me and award me for my living.
Today I was drone to this power, the biblical power that reigned in the historic times of Adam, Eve and Jesus Christ.
In those days, as the story goes in the holy book, Moses was sent to deliver his people from the land of Egypt where they had been in slavery for a very long time.
The stammerer and shy shepherd did not know just how he was going to do this. Despite the fact that he had grown up among the kings of Egypt, he had no clue how he was surposed to deliver his biological relatives.
To cut the long story short, his sender, God almighty asked him this, “what are you holding in your hand?”

So Moses with his sheep directing rod, left for the rescue mission, and yes, he did deliver his people from slavery using the one thing he had in his hand.

At the beginning of  this re-told story, I wrote I was inspired.
Being a new month, having nothing much to write on my blog, I decided to share with you just how much I was inspired.
A story is told of a young boy who loved to play with butterflies, I don’t remember who told this story to me, but I remember I was standing out in the cold one morning in the parade with a thousand other students during my highschool days.
One day this boy trapped the little animal in the palm of his hand, ran to his father and asked, “daddy, I ask, do you think I should kill the butterfly, or let it live?” The father looked at his son, smiled and answered, “son, the power is in your hands” 

There it is, that is my inspiration.
This morning as I prepared for work, I realized that all this while, in my early twenties,as I have been struggling to find what exactly my purpose is in life, the answer has been in my hands.
I realized that all I need to do to feel fulfilled, to be in place is to use what I have in my hands.

Each of us have at some point asked ourselves if we are in the right track to our destiny.
We have worked in companies we don’t really believe in, we have been forced to patiently tolerate other people’s passion to be able to put food on our tables.
Society has even gone further to convince us that, if we did not do so well in our academics,if we were not perceived as the successful ones, then we do not amount to anything.
Here is what we have been missing; we all carry different things in our hands.
We are the only ones who can tell what exactly is in our hands, we are the only ones with the power to decide what to do with what is in our hands.

So this morning, I decided to realize my talents and hobbies,and I also decided not to ask what is happening to the power in my hand, but to drive the events that will take place in the palm of my hands.

What are you holding in your hand? 
The power is right there, in your hands. 

Realize it…………………….

Articles

Unconscious conscious suicide.

I for one have a problem with all the Kenyan citizens who simply do not respect the rules of life. Rules of life that in the first place keep us all alive and in check.
I am irritated by all the citizens who look up at the fly over and still cross the roads on super highways, as the death toll rises every year. I am even more disturbed by the chain smokers who feel the need to continuously smoke in public spaces affecting those like me that are disgusted by the smell let alone the habit.
 I am a frequent user of the famous Mombasa road, known for the number of accidents.
The road in itself is well designed with beautiful plantation to separate the three way ever busy highway. It is often used by pedestrians from the slams of Kibera, Sinai and Mukuru kwa Reuben who make their way to the industrial areas every morning in search of their daily bread – nothing out of the ordinary.
What is interesting about my fellow citizens though, is how impatient they can get while crossing the roads, the number of accidents recorded annually is just overwhelming.
If you use this route, then you understand what I am talking about, I call it the sheep mentality.
As you attempt to cross the ever busy super highway, you will notice that every pedestrian trying to cross the road is waiting for your move.  Once you attempt to make a move, everyone flocks the road meeting un-expecting motorists who end up running someone down if they do not try to avoid them and hit another motorist.
I may be tempted to I for one have a problem with all the Kenyan citizens who simply do not respect the rules of life. Rules of life that in the first place keep us all alive and in check.
I am irritated by all the citizens who look up at the fly over and still cross the roads on super highways, as the death toll rises every year. I am even more disturbed by the chain smokers who feel the need to continuously smoke in public spaces affecting those like me that are disgusted by the smell let alone the habit.
 I am a frequent user of the famous Mombasa road, known for the number of accidents.
The road in itself is well designed with beautiful plantation to separate the three way ever busy highway. It is often used by pedestrians from the slams of Kibera, Sinai and Mukuru kwa Reuben who make their way to the industrial areas every morning in search of their daily bread – nothing out of the ordinary.
What is interesting about my fellow citizens though, is how impatient they can get while crossing the roads, the number of accidents recorded annually is just overwhelming.
If you use this route, then you understand what I am talking about, I call it the sheep mentality.
As you attempt to cross the ever busy super highway, you will notice that every pedestrian trying to cross the road is waiting for your move.  Once you attempt to make a move, everyone flocks the road meeting un-expecting motorists who end up running someone down if they do not try to avoid them and hit another motorist.
I may be tempted to blame the Ministry of Transportation for not building enough fly overs and foot bridges at the highway. So far, just between Nyayo Round about and City Cabanas, there is only one pedestrian bridge, but does that excuse, cover the sheep mentality? I mean, just how uncommon is common sense?
‘‘Look right, look left, look right again, and when the road is clear, cross the road’’ this were the famous quotes used to educate little children in early education, I am quite curtain majority of us attempted to go through the system, if not gone through it already.
I remember no school that tolerated “look at fellow pedestrian and run across the road” let’s call it unconscious conscious suicide.
Speaking of unconscious conscious suicide, have you met the annoying chain smokers who feel the need to share the addiction with pedestrians, shoppers and even public vehicle users?
In May 2006, the then Minister of Health, Charity Ngilu attempted to sign a legal notice to restrict smoking in public places and restrict advertising and trade of tobacco.
I was and am still in support of the restriction against smoking in public i.e Offices and workplaces, health institutions, educational institutions, places of worship, police stations and prisons, public transport terminals, retail establishments, cinema, theatres and sporting arena.

I think pooling a burn against advertising and trade of tobacco was trying too hard. I mean, it is someone’s daily bread, and let’s just say, the smokers also enjoy their self-implicated death sentence, so why stop them?
Soon after Ngilus attempt, it was passed that, in Kenya, smoking is prohibited in public places and workplaces except in specially designated smoking areas.
But even with this strict rule, as I walk to work in the morning, I still meet a few fellows smoking away without a care in the world of who is affected by their sickening behavior.
I make a point to look around and find any law enforcer but to no avail – we both know what ad do if I met any, and this is just because I am a good citizen, I might as well lash at you or slash your head off your body for irritating my morning.
This are just but two examples, I could go on and on about the number of repulsive behaviors that I and fellow citizens have had to leave with causing harm to ourselves and to people around us.
This is becoming a world of unconscious conscious suicide.
blame the Ministry of Transportation for not building enough fly overs and foot bridges at the highway. So far, just between Nyayo Round about and City Cabanas, there is only one pedestrian bridge, but does that excuse, cover the sheep mentality? I mean, just how uncommon is common sense?
‘‘Look right, look left, look right again, and when the road is clear, cross the road’’ this were the famous quotes used to educate little children in early education, I am quite curtain majority of us attempted to go through the system, if not gone through it already.
I remember no school that tolerated “look at fellow pedestrian and run across the road” let’s call it unconscious conscious suicide.
Speaking of unconscious conscious suicide, have you met the annoying chain smokers who feel the need to share the addiction with pedestrians, shoppers and even public vehicle users?
In May 2006, the then Minister of Health, Charity Ngilu attempted to sign a legal notice to restrict smoking in public places and restrict advertising and trade of tobacco.
I was and am still in support of the restriction against smoking in public i.e Offices and workplaces, health institutions, educational institutions, places of worship, police stations and prisons, public transport terminals, retail establishments, cinema, theaters and sporting arena.

I think pooling a burn against advertising and trade of tobacco was trying too hard. I mean, it is someone’s daily bread, and let’s just say, the smokers also enjoy their self-implicated death sentence, so why stop them?
Soon after Ngilu’s attempt, it was passed that, in Kenya, smoking is prohibited in public places and workplaces except in specially designated smoking areas.
But even with this strict rule, as I walk to work in the morning, I still meet a few fellows smoking away without a care in the world of who is affected by their sickening behavior.
I make a point to look around and find any law enforcer but to no avail – we both know what ad do if I met any, and this is just because I am a good citizen, I might as well lash at you or slash your head off your body for irritating my morning.
This are just but two examples, I could go on and on about the number of repulsive behaviors that I and fellow citizens have had to leave with causing harm to ourselves and to people around us.
This is becoming a world of unconscious conscious suicide.

Articles

Tough Journeys; what I am

Tough journeys call for tough people
But that’s just what I am
Fighting through the heavy winds
Swimming in the largest waves
And sailing in the greatest storms
Yet with the numb feeling on my body
 I come out of it tough
Make it all look easy
Leaving no understanding of the feeling
But that’s just what I am

Tough journey call for tough people
Throat dry, body dehydrated 
All through in the desert
No stop by the oasis
Yet the spackle in my eye
And the smoothness on my skin
All still in place
Leaving no clue of the hardship
But that’s just what I am

Tough journeys call for tough people
Tough people just like me
People so gentle and calm
People that can eat
Eat from mother earth’s big spoon
People that can run the big race
People that believe in their strength
But that’s just what I am

Tough journeys call for tough people
People that can seat and see the distance
That can stand the pain
But toughen before
That can laugh after
And smile in owe
But that’s just what I am
Tough journeys call for tough people
But that’s just what I am.

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