My practical and selfish acts of love

Girl on Transit

My practical and selfish acts of love

People perceive valentines as a lady’s holiday. I feel sorry for men like my own who have to deal with two love holidays at the same time. I say so because I was born just a day away from valentines, and my birthday by all means must be celebrated. Am sure my man is not the only one experiencing this financial dilemma, how do you celebrate a birthday and a valentine’s day on a budget and still be thoughtful? Because really, this two celebrations are not about the amount of money you spend, but the thoughts that you put in it. I do not mind if someone made me dinner, switched off their phone and invested their time in me. In fact I feel like the gift of time surpasses a trip around the world. As I wrote in my previous article, and I stand to be corrected, love cannot be saved up to be celebrated once in a year, it’s a daily routine, as is many other virtues such as religion and peace. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a woman, and I still love to be celebrated, but I feel like men too need to be celebrated for their love. Any person in love or who has experienced genuine love understands that it is not a one way street, in fact it cannot be love if it only goes in one direction.  So today I would love to share with you my acts of love that I practice all round the year to ensure that my man is well saved up to include my birthday and Valentine’s Day in his acts of love. I have to keep his pocket flexible so that his imagination on how to spoil me can grow. For me this means contributing in the household. I prefer to shop for my home as an all-round act of love, and also because I am the woman and people only eat and use up what I want them to in my house.  So as he takes care of the bigger bills, I relieve him of the smaller ones like food and toiletries. I also prefer to dress the family. So I have made it my business to know when a sock is old enough or a soul is wearing out. Maybe this too is for a selfish reason, maybe I do it because I like to be well represented to the rest of the world, but I do it, and it helps to flex my man’s financial muscles when it comes to my expectations. I also save up for rainy days, because I know and understand that those too will come. So when the baby falls ill in the middle of the night at a dry time like the 18th of January, we are able to dash to the hospital and get some quality treatment. Investing in myself may sound and look like a selfish move, but a healthy and happy person attracts the right kind of energy around them. If you behave like a queen, someone will treat you like royalty, if you behave like a peasant, coins will be thrown at you as people go on their way. It’s just the laws of life, so I try to keep a standard, so that I can expect what I deserve. I will gift him randomly and unexpectedly with not necessary expensive, but meaningful, essential and functional gifts. Gifts that he will not only use but which will give him an insight on my expectations. Finally, when the rubber hits the road and things are not working as planned, I can always loan him some money and set him up in the right direction. After all, he is mine and his successes and failures are also mine. When I have all this in play, I will be expecting some act of love in this season. For you can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others. Love is not what you receive but what you give. See what I did there? What do you do as an act of love? What will you be expecting this valentines? Let me know, let’s exchange ideas
  • Floice Aleyo

    I agree on the two way traffic, but I feel that financial resources and responsibilities should be shared equally, not as a favour unless he is 100% able to do everything.

      1. Aswani Nabwende

        I agree with you fully, I still feel that 50/50 responsibilities can be covered when a woman keeps the home together to give room for the man to provide for it. A woman who is actively taking care of the home deserves a treat from her man in comparison to the one who just receives but never gives. That’s what I meant, that instead of just expecting to receive, we start giving more

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