I am jealous of the thirty four year old single lady at my church. She thinks she has failed because the society has set timelines of when one is meant to graduate, get married and start a family. She thinks she has failed because, even though she is well educated and has a great job, she has been called out for living alone with neither husband nor children. Her entire success has been questioned because of lack of a man.
I am jealous of this girl because I do not think she has failed. I understand well that there is no need to rush into marriage. Miss 34 year old single lady is likely to make better decisions of a partner and a lifestyle in comparison to a girl in her early or mid twenties.
Let us be honest as girls, our impressions of an ideal partner change with age. Maybe that is why it is said we age like fine wine.
As an old teenager, an ideal partner is just the handsome guy in the block, the one who has on sweet perfume, a stud earring on his one ear piercing wearing and some expensive white Reeboks. We want a man who our friends will approve of his good looks and who speaks the queen’s language with eloquence.
In early twenties, the guy with a classy vehicle and a 65 inch television set in his rented apartment makes more sense. You can show up in events and family gatherings looking elite and your mother is likely to approve of this guy.
You care less about his ride in mid twenties. His ambitions become more ideal, the guy who would rather take out a loan to support his business than buy a car. The guy who dreams and works without giving up.
In the thirties, you understand that a guy can look good and dress good but lack intellect. He could take out a loan and have a big screen and have no ambition beyond that. He could have all the dreams in the world and yet no time or value for anyone, let alone family.
A girl at this stage is not only seeking emotional stability and support, she also wants someone who will seek and take her mature decisions as part of their daily considerations in decision making. She wants a man who needs a home more than a loaned car, a man who is not afraid of living, a mature, reasonable and sober man. The looks to her are not just in appearance, she is more attracted to the mind of the man.
I am jealous of this girl because I know she will not settle, she will find her prince charming. A man, who we will all realize is the man we all wanted to grow old with. There is no rushing this girl.